"Well, it certainly seemed like a good idea: I'd just head down to Athens for the ""/dreamworksfansite.com/waroftheworlds"">War of the Worlds"" casting call and try to get hired as an extra in order to bring you some behind-the-scenes dirt on the latest Steven Spielberg/Tom Cruise collaboration.

I thought for sure I'd break the news that Tom and Nicole had rekindled their romance or that Cruise is actually a 4-foot, 1-inch megalomaniac who likes to walk around the set in women's pajamas while asking complete strangers if he may clip their toenails between takes.

Didn't happen.

While I did get cast as an extra for the four full days of shooting, Nicole never showed, and I painted my toenails for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

In fact, Cruise turned out to be the most charismatic person I've ever seen and a hero both on- and off-screen. (In case you didn't hear, on the final day of shooting Cruise came to the rescue of a young extra who fainted from breathing diesel fumes. To his credit, he stayed by her side until the ambulance arrived. And who broke that story? That's right, moi.) That is why he is a big movie star and I remain shivering in the shadows.

The production crew (whom I affectionately labeled ""those dinks"") worked the herd of extras (numbering between 500 and 1,000 depending on the day) to the point of exhaustion in weather not fit for man nor beast. (For those of you just joining the ""WOW"" conversation, cameras rolled continuously from 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. each day with just a 40-minute break for ""lunch"" at midnight, regardless of the weather which always stunk - snow, freezing rain, high winds and temps hanging steady in the high 20s and low 30s.)

We'd walk down the street - they'd film us. We'd run down the street - they'd film us. We'd panic loudly - they'd film us. We'd panic silently - they'd film us. Over and over it went while Mother Nature laughed her precipitation-filled butt off. It got so bad that extras were sleeping in the junk cars being used as props on the ferry. For all we know, they may still be there.

Nevertheless, even in my exhaustive state, I was able to break these riveting stories from the set (each one exclusives to this newspaper): Athens just got a Dollar General - and the locals were as excited about that as they were in seeing Cruise or Spielberg (who were both on the set all four days); at no point in the film do the tripods (that's what they call the aliens) sing ""Kumbaya"" (in fact, they sink the ferry I spent two days working my butt to get on and two more days praying to get off); and Tom Cruise converted everyone on the set to Scientology (all hail the mighty Hubbard).

OK, that last one might not be true. In fact, deep down, because of my lack of movie-star dirt, I feel like I've failed you, the faithful reader. Normally I'm OK with that, but this time I'm actually going to make it up to you once the DVD comes out.

How, you ask? By promising to write a column identifying all of the kooks I met during filming: the 19-year-old guitar-strumming boy who felt the need to perform during breaks; the 18-year-old Italian Doublemint Twins sporting the latest in Jenny from the Block wear; extremely-hairy motorcycle shop guy from ""the ghetto"" who spent time hitting on women out of his league; the 31-year-old ""but everyone thinks I'm 17"" former Jagermeister girl with Demi Moore's voice; the ironically loud blind guy with the seeing-eye dog and the daughter who passed out; the local who brought a flask to the set on the final night and soon was slurring words; the cute redhead who almost killed me by leaping a stairway railing to avoid the pretend aliens (""It just felt right,"" she said afterward); and some dork dressed like Oliver Twist who was telling anyone who'd listen that his book - and subsequent screenplay - would have ""definitely"" been picked up by Spielberg had he not at the time already committed to ""Jurassic Park.""

(I'm not saying it isn't within the realm of possibility ... Oh wait, yes I am.)

I'll also help you all identify locals like Tracy Gutermuth and her fianc?, Charles Magnell of Saratoga Springs (who really looked like bums, but I'm sure are very nice people); Rob Lutz of Malta (who was officially labeled ""Guy with Burned Arm""); Chris Delvechio of Glenville (who assures me he will never, ever be an extra again); and Frank Soriano of Saratoga Springs who ""wouldn't come down here for any other director."" (It turns out Frank was no stranger to the celebrity scene. Walter Mathau's brother resided in the prison where Soriano formerly worked as a correction's officer.)

Now tell me, what are you looking forward to seeing in this movie, Cruise being all heroic or a fascinating collection of very tired dorks, dinks and sluts trying to catch a ferry?

Source: /www.saratogian.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1169&dept_id=17776&newsid=13587709&PAG=461&rfi=9"">The Saratogian"